Cheers to My Stomach Roll

July 4th weekend I was stressed out of my mind. So anxious, I was paralyzed to do anything and flaring so badly, I couldn't enjoy the beautiful lake I was vacationing on. This picture captures the moment I finally relaxed (a full day after a good cry and pep talk from my mom, thanks mom who is reading this even though I asked her not to yet :) ). I hesitated posting this picture because of the roll on my stomach due to me leaning to one side. I wanted to post it though because it captures the moment so perfectly and I want to celebrate that! 

As someone who was dealing with hospital visits when most girls are having major body confidence issues-one good thing about my chronic illness was it allowed me to mostly avoid the whole self conscious about my body phase. Sure, I would get frustrated with my body not cooperating physically or mentally, not like looking bloated from constipation or a new medication, but mostly I felt good about myself. Today, I feel confident even though my body isn't "perfect". 

In moments like I had this week where I struggle with posting what the world deems as "bad" or "not beautiful", I remember that my body does amazing things for me and I should be grateful, not critical. In this moment, my body was fighting against all of the mental stress I'd been putting on it (not super well, but still! Go body!) and that is an incredible feat. I love this photo. I love it because you can see my shoulders relaxed, a genuine smile on my face, surrounded by crystal blue lake-fully in the moment.

This is me, in a flare, smiling big because though my body was hurting, I finally felt calm in one of my favorite places, on the water, stomach roll and symptomatic and all.

So, cheers to my stomach roll! And cheers to finally relaxing! And cheers to a body that is far from perfect but it's mine and it's strong and it's worth celebrating!